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A particular post!


04082014 185720It’s another awful selfie. Big nose, fat neck, and a particularly miserable face…pathetic in fact! But, it’s on here to emphasise my point. Which is…?

I’ve failed myself big time. Only last night I was re-thinking my blog and vowed to pack it in with the selfies…HELLO! WHAT’S THIS THEN? Let me explain myself…if I ever can?

My daughter and her partner, being mindful of their Duracell Bunny are now being careful with their language in his presence. We’ve all heard of the shock stories, where someone let one naughty word slip and a blotting paper – like toddler picked up on it straight away. They went on to announce the new word ever so clearly, to everyone and anyone who would listen. This was usually disapproving little old ladies in a shop.

So, to try to avoid this rather unpleasant scenario, daughter and fiancé are carefully substituting swear words with ordinary ones that big ears can repeat, if he chooses to. They have selected particular and I thought it was so good that I have decided to join them in their quest to do away with the bad words.

Regular readers of this blog will be only too familiar with just how stupid I can be and how easily I get lost. When I’m in the car with the Sat Nav not working and hubby not map reading, and I have to be at a wedding five minutes ago, I sometimes swear a little bit. I might say…Oh dash it, I appear to be lost, again. Or can you please tell me what it says on the damn map? Yeah right!

For those of you who are easily offended, I would suggest that you leave this blog right now…because I’m going to come clean about my favourite swear word.

Now, they’ve gone… rearrange these letters ufkc. I know it’s disgusting isn’t it. I might add that I am careful where I use, as my dad says, my explosive vowels. I hate to hear it used in everyday use [ except in erotica , of course where it is rather required.]

He particulared me three times and then grabbed me by the Barbie! It’s not quite the same, is it? Although I don’t know…it floats my boat!

Anyway, I too am adopting particular, as my word. So, above I am actually been quite rude, and you didn’t know it…well you do now.

I shall take great delight in shouting at the top of my voice:

  •  Oh great, now we’re particular lost again!.
  •  Look at the particular map!
  • Just where the particular are we?
  • I’ve had enough of this particular going on!
  • What the particular is that?
  • Who the particular does he think he is.
  • No I particular well won’t?
  • You particular do it yourself!
  • Oh go and particular yourself!

And my personal favourite:

  • You had better particular well not be taking the particular out of me!

The list is endless and I feel sure that I will feel the need to change the word at some point. I’m thinking maybe Barbie?

  • Just what the Barbie is that supposed to be
  • I’m Barbie lost again!

So, particular it is, for now.

Perhaps now you understand the terrible selfie? Or maybe you don’t?

That’s quite enough swearing for one night in one post. I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to anyone who has been offended by this particular post! Sorry!

Or, you could join us, by adopting your own secret swear word. You get to fall around with laughter, like a stupid child, when someone unwittingly uses a perfectly innocent word in your presence!

Thanks for dropping by…I bet you wish you hadn’t! Sorry again! Have a good night.

Until the next time.

 

 

Author:

Many moons ago, I started to write. But, as life twisted and turned the only thing I got to write was letters, in my job. Things changed, I left my job and returned to the writing. I have loads of ideas and very little time to do them in.( Sound familiar?) I write, because I need to. When I am unable to write I walk in the shadow of madness. Some folk would argue that I'm there already. As well as writing, I read, paint, garden, knit and have just started making candles. I am owned by a retired greyhound called Daisy. My previous greyhound(Misty) was the inspiration to get writing again. Daisy is keeping that inspiration alive. Thanks for reading. Dorne x

8 thoughts on “A particular post!

    1. Oh thank you Colleen. I’m feeling bold at the moment. I love colour and I think late summer is beautiful. Hope you are recovering after your awful week and I’m enjoying your blog posts as well. x

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  1. Reminds me of the time we saw the excellent Mike Harding doing his stand-up. He felt the older Anglo-Saxon words such as ‘arse’ were acceptable, but preferred to swap the stronger swear words for ‘cabbage’ or ‘cabbaging’ eg. the time he was bitten by a dog, “get that cabbaging dog off my cabbaging arse!” I felt it worked quite well 😉

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