This morning I’m taking part in the Sunday Blog Share, which is organised by Suzie at suzie81speaks. Suzie can be found tweeting @suzie81 blog. Read all about the blog share challenge here.
The post I have chosen goes back a few years. It was published in the online parody woman’s magazine Happy Woman,[ read it here.]several years ago. Why not take a look at some of the other brilliantly funny articles. I can guarantee, if parody is your thing you won’t be leaving the magazine anytime soon!
First time round the editor quite literally snapped it up and delighted little ole me. But, it didn’t seem to get any comments. So, it’s having another outing here. It may be that it’s too out there!
Well, here goes! And it isn’t just for the girls, you boys can join in as well. I’ve adapted it slightly, so you don’t feel left out.[That’s very big of me!]
Girls and boys, in these days of high-speed living it is all too easy to lose touch with ourselves. Sometimes we just need to touch base and reconnect with Mother Earth.
There are many ways of doing this, but one of the most effective and cheapest ways to gain relaxation is by drumming away your stress.
You are going to need a drum; a child’s plastic drum would be particularly effective as the hard plastic will produce a wonderfully loud and resonating sound. Give your drum a name –this may sound slightly kooky, but you and your drum will be going on some special journeys together so spend some time bonding with it.
Now, you need to find somewhere that you can call your sacred space. If the weather permits you could even go outdoors and interact with nature. Wear loose clothing, or none at all if you so desire and let the air circulate around your poor stressed-out body.
Begin by banging on your drum gently and slowly and listen to how it echoes around your sacred space and head. Now start to bang louder and faster – do not feel self-conscious as this is what is making you stressed in the first place. As you drum you may feel like humming or making some relaxing sound. Why not ask your drum what she/he thinks – after all, you will be bonding now. Some people find moaning is quite effective and helps to rid your body of stress.
As you drum and hum/moan remember to shut out the world and the other sounds around you. You are in a special place of your own, so do not be put off by the upstairs windows of the adjoining house being opened. Pay no attention to the neighbours opposite gathering in their gardens to watch. This is to be expected, they are probably thinking – gosh I wish I was as stress-free as her, and that drumming is so relaxing!
Feel the wind in places you have never experienced wind before [well not that sort of wind anyhow]. You may like to move around more, maybe dance – this will all help to rid your body of the evil stress residing there. Remember this is your sacred space and the crowds of people now gathering to watch are learning about the sort of person you are. Bang your drum, chant your chant and dance faster – and away from those two policemen now running across your lawn – they will interfere with your flow if you let them catch you.
You must not stop, you are in mid-flow and the evil stress has not been banished yet. Smile at the police officers, as they cover you up with a towel they have borrowed from next-door’s line and lead you to their waiting patrol car.
Feel the safety of the cosy back seat of the police car as you drum away and hum all the way to the police station [it won’t be easy being handcuffed but persist anyway]. Do not feel guilty – you are helping to rid your police friends of the evil presence of stress too.
Hang on to your drum as they gently lead you into your new sanctuary in the police cells. Listen to how the sound of the drum echoes around your safe space. If you are lucky there may be some like-minded souls in adjoining cells and they will probably shout encouragement to you as you all free yourselves from the evil of stress.
When you have finished this session shout to the friendly policemen to let them know. You might wish to bang your drum and shout quite loudly to make them hear.
Sisters and brothers – doesn’t it feel good to be stress-free?
So, there we have it…and now I’m wondering what you thought – she’s mad, quite probably!
Thanks to Suzie for coming up with a great idea and blog share; which also gets retweeted on Twitter. Why not take part.[Says she who has been thinking about it for a couple of weeks.]
A big thank you to all of you who have taken the time to stop by and read. Have a really great Sunday.
Before I go, I need to confess something. I have a drum and cd to drum along to! So, if you ever hear of a weird woman in the woods in Ayton, near Scarborough, England banging a drum and moaning, it’ll be me!
Until the next time.
A middle-aged woman going on about this and that!
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