A tribute to Daniel, our youngest grandson.

 

Sometimes life deals you a tragic blow and you are catapulted into a nightmarish existence.

A week ago our youngest grandson, Daniel, who was four, was rushed to Leeds General Infirmary, from our local hospital. At 11.30 the previous evening his parents, our daughter and her partner, had been informed that he had Leukaemia. He had been admitted to the hospital  for complications with chickenpox.

Basically, what followed over the next two and half days was like being in a twilight zone. He eventually had a machine working away for just about every major organ in his body. Daniel fought a brave battle for his life. But, on Sunday morning his parents were told that he was dying and they took the tremendously brave decision to let him slip away peacefully in their arms, rather than risk him having a heart attack and a violent passing.

 

This afternoon, with a hell of a lot of trepidation and shaking legs, I went to the Chapel of Rest to see Daniel. I needed to replace the image of him lying in the Intensive Care Unit after he had passed, with something more peaceful. I am glad to say I found my peace. I spent some time holding his hand, stroking his lovely brown hair and chatting to him. He may well have been listening in from somewhere thinking please shut up grandma! I talked about the many happy things we did together and fun times we had – such as counting our stairs to make sure that one hadn’t gone missing, making dens under tables, generally turning our lounge into a tip, walking the Daisy Dog and running around the house like lunatics!

I left the Chapel of Rest a changed person… no longer deranged with grief.

This isn’t to say that the grief won’t return. As anyone who has experienced a bereavement (and I’m guessing that is a lot of us) knows, it hits you in waves doesn’t it? You think you have it all under control and then that one little thing can reduce you to tears… yes?

As for Daniel’s parents… they are being so brave and strong. They have a rather dark and scary road to travel down. But we, the family will be with them all the way. And we are gathering some HUGE torches to light our way.

So Daniel my little sweetheart, next week your funeral will be a celebration of your life… with colours,  balloons and some pop star called Megan Trainer ( yeah, grandma has that wrong again) who you rather liked. You had a few cool moves when you danced to her tracks. Not for you a dark and dreary event. 

 

My daughter and her partner have surprised and filled me with hope with their take on the cruel event that  wrenched their beautiful son away from them. His dad told me :

” We were all on a journey together. Now Daniel has had to go on a journey of his own and we must find ourselves another journey. But, he will always be with us. We carry him in our hearts and we wouldn’t have missed our journey with him for anything.”

Are not our children brilliant? Do they not make us proud? Do they not inspire us?

Rest in peace Daniel Christopher. You were a one-off. And your mummy and daddy although broken-hearted will be just fine given the passage of time, because they made a promise to you as you passed. They understood that your journey together was over, but they promised you that they would somehow find a new way – in time. The better for having had you in their lives, albeit it for four short years. Mummies and daddies don’t break promises.

We all benefited from knowing you… our special, gorgeous little man.

Enjoy your journey sweetheart and don’t forget to come back and haunt us all on a regular basis. Particularly at the dead of night when we all can’t sleep.

And this grandma of yours will continue to talk to you… you don’t get away with it that easily!

This post is not written to depress or disturb you, nor to draw sympathy. On Write Dorne I write about all aspects of my life. 
Death is a part of life and we can not escape it. But, I think as we face up to it, it becomes less scary – well that’s the plan anyway.

I plan to write about Daniel a bit more. In fact a lot more… he was a large part of my life.

 

Thanks for dropping by.

Dorne x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A thank you to my daughter.

 

Tomorrow  in the UK, it is Mothering Sunday.

Photo credit: amolife.com

Photo credit: amolife.com

It’s a day early, but I wanted to just take a moment to reflect  on what it means to be a mum. In my particular case to a daughter.

It’s really hard work. No, really hard work and they don’t come with a manual.

You don’t sleep properly… ever again.  When they’re little you’re listening out for them and when they’re older, you’re waiting for them to arrive home… in the early hours of the morning.

As they get older still, you lie awake at night thinking about how you can help them to rise to the latest challenges they face. Then you realise, again, that it’s their life and you can’t live it for them.

They fall in love, out of love.

They eventually settle down  with THE ONE and then they’re pregnant.

You watch their belly swell. You look at the ultrasound images. Wow… we never had that. The new mum to be has a special gizmo that lets you hear the baby kicking and moving around. Wow… we didn’t have those neither. They’re carrying a boy and he has a name before he is even born.

Then they give birth and you’re a grandma.

You don’t feel any older or different. Should  you?  Then you catch sight of that tiny bundle of new life and get to hold your first grandchild for the very first time and your heart swells with love and pride. Your baby has a baby…  you’re addicted.

Your child has come full circle and given you this new child to love.

Photo credit: jaimelackeyphotography.com

Photo credit: jaimelackeyphotography.com

I consider myself lucky in that I grew up with my daughter, Janine. I was a young mum and I had loads of energy to devote to her. We had so much fun.

Today, I see an independent, confident and intelligent woman, in Janine. As far as I am concerned she did an excellent job of raising herself!

I have watched my daughter face some terrible situations, but she has found a way through and I’m so very proud of her.

Now, I get to see her raise her gorgeous son, Daniel and I love to watch them play together. And, I get to play all over again.

Today, I want to say a big thanks to her for being a fabulous, loving and thoughtful daughter; and for making me a grandma: something I have wanted to be, for some time.  She has made it all very worthwhile.

It’s still hard work though!

How about you?

  • What does being a mum mean to you?
  • Or, what does your mum mean to you?

Whatever you have planned for tomorrow, or on May 10, elsewhere in the world, have a great day.

Thanks for taking the time to visit here.

I’ll be back! 🙂

 

 

What makes you want to get out of bed in the morning?

 

Photo credit: Pinterest. Found on thecolorrun.com

Photo credit: Pinterest.
Found on thecolorrun.com

Well, I’ve crawled out of bed … and crawled back, with a coffee.

But, I do have plans and the sun is shining hard and nature is trying to be spring-like. So, happy faces are being worn as folk go about their daily business. I am going to do some early spring cleaning. My windows are open [bragging again!] and the birds are singing. It’s bright and fresh and the light is tinted with lemon. .

What are your plans today? Are you wearing your happy face?

Later on, we are looking after our youngest grandson, whilst his mum and dad are at work. I’m building up my caffeine reserves as I type this. Wish us luck!

Thanks for stopping by here and have a great day.

Until the next time.

Wake up call.

The best thing about my grandson staying is when he comes into our bedroom, in the morning to say ” hi!”
I love his bed hair and his energy, as I watch him charge around the bedroom.
Oh to be young again…hey?
Sweet dreams all and I hope to post later on.
Thanks for stopping by.
Until later on.

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phone .Landed in Scotland.

Thirty things that make me smile, on a grumpy day: a blast from the past.

Mystical (LazyLens 20140418 054335 HD)

This a reblog of one of my earlier posts. On this particular day I was obviously feeling very grumpy and needed something to cheer me up. So I came up with this.

Incidentally, I have the video, but I would like to improve on it…in fact I am sure I can improve on it. So, when the skylarks start singing again I’ll be there with my super camera.

I haven’t changed this. It is just as I wrote it, back in April of last year.

 

Just a quick post.

Not one of my better days today, but we all have them. When I’m having an off day, I try to focus on what makes me smile.

These are mine, what are yours I wonder?

  1. Trees. I like to touch them and hug them, if I don’t have an audience. I wonder what stories they could tell? My ash tree, with the face, and keeper of my secrets, [above photo] is probably somewhere in the region of three hundred years old.
  2. Thunder. The louder the better. And if it crashes directly over me, then WOW!
  3. Beautiful sunsets, at the end of a lovely day. I like to photograph them and then attempt to paint them.
  4. Falling snow. And walks in settled snow. Looking for animal footprints.
  5. Getting absolutely drenched in warm summer rain.
  6. The dawn chorus.
  7. The smell of my greyhound.
  8. Earl Grey tea. I’m addicted to the bergamot I think!
  9. Warm crumpets, after a long walk with the dog, on a winter’s day.
  10. Tomato soup, when I’m ill. [ A throwback to when I was a child, I think.]
  11. The feeling of sand in-between my toes. The softness, that gradually gives way to a grittyness, as it gentle trickles down the inside of my toes.
  12. Lightening. Fork and sheet. I like the unpredictability of it. When will it strike again? And when it does, night-time momentarily becomes daytime.
  13. Everything about springtime. What’s not to like?
  14. Derwentwater in the Lake District. It’s my favourite lake. It is just so beautiful. If I lived on the banks of it, I would spend all day just gazing at it.
  15. Watching the wind ripple across  a field of corn, or long grass. Grass or corn waves, I like to call them.
  16. I like Cows. They are such gentle beasts. I had a go at milking some, a few years ago. They became so affectionate and wanted their ears tickling; which of course I did!
  17. I love owls. Tawny, barn and little. I think there is something magical and mystical about them.
  18. The smell of babies.
  19. A fabulous sunrise. One that urges you to wake up and grab your camera, to capture it forever.
  20. A really good white wine, with a lovely meal, in a hotel restaurant.
  21. Strong black coffee. To wake me up and keep me going.
  22. Good music, played loudly, so I can hear every note and instrument.
  23. Driving my car. We don’t have motorways near to where we live, so when I do get to go on them, it’s a treat. A bit of speed!
  24. Scotland. A lovely country. I would love to learn how to speak Gaelic. It fascinates me.
  25. Playing with my grandson. He’s fabulous.
  26. Walking my dog. We go off exploring, particularly on holiday.
  27. The heady smell of Elderflowers on a spring evening. There’s a bush up the lane from where we live. I go and drink in the heady scent, when it’s in full blossom. Fabulous.
  28. Meadows of wildflowers. They need to be preserved. Last year I walked through an ancient one, in the Yorkshire Dales. I couldn’t take it all in. It was incredible. I dream of walking in that field again, and I will sometime.
  29. The North York Moors. On my doorstep. Wild, remote in places and magnificent.
  30. A wild sea, with massive, rolling waves. A calm sea, that barely ripples. A summer’s morning, with the sun catching the surface. Swimming it the sea and feeling the power of those waves, as they crash over your head. A power to be respected at all times: dis-respect her at your peril.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

My list could be never-ending, but that’s enough for now.

I’ve been in the fields today, trying to record and video my favourite birdsong…the skylark.. I’ll have to edit it some more and see if I can get rid of my voice prattling on in the background. Then, I might put it on here.

The video is a bit boring, but you can actually hear the skylarks. Playing with my new phone, you see.

I’m going for a long soak in a warm bubble bath now. Might feel a bit better then, I hope.

Until next time.

Grumpy woman signing off, for now.

I would now add …thanks for stopping by and have a great Saturday.

Until the next time.

 

 

 

 

Looking for conkers.

I’m finally in bed and exhausted…with a K!
Today my youngest grandson turned two.
We went looking for conkers ….and we found loads of them. He carefully put them into the basket, on the front of his trike. One even went in the bath 🛀 with him, firmly clenched in his little, delicate hand . He’s now as nuts about them as his mum and I.
I hope that your day has been great.
Thanks for taking the time to visit. It’s always appreciated.
Have a peaceful night.
Until the next time. 😉

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phone .Landed in Scotland.