life

A tribute to Daniel, our youngest grandson.

 

Sometimes life deals you a tragic blow and you are catapulted into a nightmarish existence.

A week ago our youngest grandson, Daniel, who was four, was rushed to Leeds General Infirmary, from our local hospital. At 11.30 the previous evening his parents, our daughter and her partner, had been informed that he had Leukaemia. He had been admitted to the hospital  for complications with chickenpox.

Basically, what followed over the next two and half days was like being in a twilight zone. He eventually had a machine working away for just about every major organ in his body. Daniel fought a brave battle for his life. But, on Sunday morning his parents were told that he was dying and they took the tremendously brave decision to let him slip away peacefully in their arms, rather than risk him having a heart attack and a violent passing.

 

This afternoon, with a hell of a lot of trepidation and shaking legs, I went to the Chapel of Rest to see Daniel. I needed to replace the image of him lying in the Intensive Care Unit after he had passed, with something more peaceful. I am glad to say I found my peace. I spent some time holding his hand, stroking his lovely brown hair and chatting to him. He may well have been listening in from somewhere thinking please shut up grandma! I talked about the many happy things we did together and fun times we had – such as counting our stairs to make sure that one hadn’t gone missing, making dens under tables, generally turning our lounge into a tip, walking the Daisy Dog and running around the house like lunatics!

I left the Chapel of Rest a changed person… no longer deranged with grief.

This isn’t to say that the grief won’t return. As anyone who has experienced a bereavement (and I’m guessing that is a lot of us) knows, it hits you in waves doesn’t it? You think you have it all under control and then that one little thing can reduce you to tears… yes?

As for Daniel’s parents… they are being so brave and strong. They have a rather dark and scary road to travel down. But we, the family will be with them all the way. And we are gathering some HUGE torches to light our way.

So Daniel my little sweetheart, next week your funeral will be a celebration of your life… with colours,  balloons and some pop star called Megan Trainer ( yeah, grandma has that wrong again) who you rather liked. You had a few cool moves when you danced to her tracks. Not for you a dark and dreary event. 

 

My daughter and her partner have surprised and filled me with hope with their take on the cruel event that  wrenched their beautiful son away from them. His dad told me :

” We were all on a journey together. Now Daniel has had to go on a journey of his own and we must find ourselves another journey. But, he will always be with us. We carry him in our hearts and we wouldn’t have missed our journey with him for anything.”

Are not our children brilliant? Do they not make us proud? Do they not inspire us?

Rest in peace Daniel Christopher. You were a one-off. And your mummy and daddy although broken-hearted will be just fine given the passage of time, because they made a promise to you as you passed. They understood that your journey together was over, but they promised you that they would somehow find a new way – in time. The better for having had you in their lives, albeit it for four short years. Mummies and daddies don’t break promises.

We all benefited from knowing you… our special, gorgeous little man.

Enjoy your journey sweetheart and don’t forget to come back and haunt us all on a regular basis. Particularly at the dead of night when we all can’t sleep.

And this grandma of yours will continue to talk to you… you don’t get away with it that easily!

This post is not written to depress or disturb you, nor to draw sympathy. On Write Dorne I write about all aspects of my life. 
Death is a part of life and we can not escape it. But, I think as we face up to it, it becomes less scary – well that’s the plan anyway.

I plan to write about Daniel a bit more. In fact a lot more… he was a large part of my life.

 

Thanks for dropping by.

Dorne x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If it wasn’t for life, we could post on our blogs…hey?

SuperBanner_Creation_2015-05-07_111324Life is like that with words“There’s a nail in the car tyre” he shouted at me as he scuttled into the kitchen, just now. His coat stayed on and he gave me that, come on let’s get to garage immediately look.

Now, it takes me a while to come around on a morning and I have yet to shower and sort out my scarecrow hairstyle… and I’m only on my second coffee of the day. I have a mountain of washing to do, chores around the house…. you get the picture. It’s called life, isn’t it?

There is also a matter of posting on my blog. I’ve made myself a promise that I’ll try and be a good girl and post on each of my blogs, at least once a day. I failed yesterday. We had the Duracell bunny. I’ll give myself that.

But, a damn nail in the car tyre… that can wait, whilst I get myself together.

In line with most bloggers/ Twitterers and Facebookers, I get extremely twitchy if I don’t blog. Why?  My post will most likely go unread, or at least not be acknowledged until later in the day. Because, my fellow bloggers and followers are taking part in this thing called life. That’s fine… but I need to blog. It sets me up for the day.  It seems that I’m addicted. Fine.

So, Mr Whale is waiting for me to go to the garage. He has taken his coat off… for now. I made him… I’m a hard woman.

Parkinson’s disease takes a rational and calm person and makes them more anxious and sometimes quite unreasonable. Mr Whale won’t be able to settle until the wheel is sorted out. That’s fine, it is important and needs to be done. But, it is part of life’s merry little dance and will have to be danced accordingly.

We will be making an appearance at the garage within the next couple of hours… just as soon as I am ready to emerge from my cocoon and face the world. Because, migraine makes me like that.

As for my other carefully laid plans for today? They lie in tatters… sob!

How about you?

  • Is your day running like clockwork?
  • Have you had a spanner thrown in your works?
  • Did it hurt?

I must go. Mr Whale has clocked that I’m actually on here typing this and not in the shower. But then, life’s like that!

Have a great day, wherever you are and thanks for stopping by here to listen to my moan.

Until the next time.

Dorne. 🙂

Are you as confused as I am?

Photo credit: www.tumblr.com

I’m way behind with my writing, comments and everything in general.

What has Johnny Depp got to do with it? Nothing… he’s just some eye candy, looking confused. I wish I was as pretty as Jack Sparrow.

Anyway, I’ve had a rather marvellous week of a migraine that will not release me from its grip. I can’t even start to tell you how magnificent this has been. Appointments have been cancelled and I’ve muddled through. Somehow, I managed to be a grandma: but it took me two days to recover! I kid you not.

I tell you this, not for sympathy votes, but because today I am not in the mood for pretending. I’m telling it how it is… PANTS! And I may just do more of that: be warned. Folk need to know that just because it’s invisible doesn’t mean it isn’t there and it is so not just a headache! I’m sorry, I’m shouting; I do that when I get like this. Because, my patience levels are at an all time low and I’m fed up of trying to explain myself.

I won’t be doing that anymore. I’m really Mrs Angry Woman now.

I never give in to this monster. It has been part of my life for so long now, that I have learnt coping strategies. We do, don’t we?  We all have things we have to deal with.

  • Do you feel you have to justify your reasons for not being able to take part in life?
  • Have you lost so-called friends as a result of your condition?
  • Do you sometimes feel isolated because of it?
  • Does it get you down, periodically?

I know that there’s lots of folks out there, battling against their personal demons; because I’ve read your blogs and have been inspired by your words.

My words, will probably make you want to die. LOL!

I must confess that at the moment my thinking is even more cloudy. My concentration is dismal and I am struggling to remember who I am, let alone what I’m doing.

So, if I seem absent from here, or you comment and I don’t respond. Thank you and please don’t be offended. I will, at some point snap out of my twilight zone and become slightly less zombified. You will get a response… at some point before this Christmas. I don’t like being rude and unreliable. I really don’t ; but unfortunately it goes hand in hand with being a migraineur, when the monster takes over.. BIG TIME! .

Thanks for dropping by here and have a great whatever day it is.

I’m off to try to give my poor hubby a sort of half decent birthday. We will have a laugh; even it hurts my poor, stupid head!

Until the next time.

Bookworm dreaming.

2014-27-11--11-28-56 books cRight now, in amongst all of this madness and mayhem that is life, I want to put the brakes on, sit down with a cup of coffee and read.

Read and read and read. I really want to be curled up in the corner of my sofa, with my fluffy socks on, under my even softer throw and free to just read the whole day away.

I can’t, of course, I’m like everyone else in that I have a life to lead. Reading won’t walk the dog, do the washing, ironing, cleaning, buy the bird seed and get Christmas organised.

Then there’s the writing goals, the keeping fit and somewhere in there my hubby would probably like some company… I guess, or maybe not.

I suspect that my writing is suffering as a result of me not reading as much. So, I need to fit that into my day as well. How can you write, if you don’t read?

Does the reading of other people’s’ blogs count? Because that is taking up my reading time these days. Not a bad thing, but I need to get lost in a good book.

I hereby declare to the blogosphere, that I’m going to read more. I’m supposed to be reading a Twitter friend’s draft novel for her. She probably thinks I’ve dropped off the face of the planet. I’m still here and I will read it. Promise!

My, what a busy little bee I’m going to be! I wonder how long I will last before my batteries run out? LOL.

Feel free to join in, driving yourself bonkers and generally burning yourself out. Or, on the other hand we may develop abnormal amounts of energy and drive –  and conquer the world!

How about it? It’s amazing what reading a book can do for you.

If you’re lucky enough to be lost in a book today…I hate you and am enormously envious. Have a great day and thanks for dropping by here. To all of my American friends…Happy Thanksgiving.

Until the next time.

 

Find a way.

philipsidney160088 Inspiration_edited

This time of the year is bonkers, isn’t it? So much to do and only 24 hours in which to cram it all in. But, it’s also fun.

Like everyone else, I’m trying to overcome certain obstacles in my life at the moment. Looking for solutions and in general, just making my way.

I’m employing the above motto.

Life is a challenge and at times it’s a BITCH! But, that’s life, we make of it what we can.

I will find a way, I usually do and then something else rears it’s ugly mug…der! That’s how it is…yes? We’d be bored silly, if it wasn’t. If it was all plain sailing we wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves.

How about you?

  • Is your life a bit wild at present?
  • How do you manage it?
  • Are you ready for Santa yet?

I need to be doing something else now. That’s sounds very mysterious, doesn’t it? It isn’t – it’s called shampooing the bedroom and stair carpets…again! Oh what a wild and exciting life I lead…I could write a book about it. How to kill you with boredom.

There again, it’s pretty exciting for the carpets…they get a shampoo and set.

Thanks for stopping by and enjoy your mad day.

Until the next multi tasking time!

 

 

Life’s challenges.

This picture 📷 was taken yesterday afternoon, on a dog 🐶 walk. I’ve used it here because it illustrates perfectly, my week so far. This is not just my writing week.
There’s some dark clouds, but the sun is finding a way through. But, look at the drama here…the drama of life. Even in difficult times we see the beauty and it rams home that we are alive. The tough times will pass.
Life is a challenge to be taken on.
I’m so grateful for what I have and I am no different to anyone else.
As for my writing goals….the commission will be completed and the other pieces? We shall see…a lot can happen between now and Monday.
How is your week going?
Is it dark clouds and sun?
Keep going…it’s worth it.
Thanks for taking the time to stop by and read.
Have a great Wednesday.
Until the next time.

Posted from WordPress for Windows Phone .Landed in Scotland.